Breaking Glass
by RoryReneeMercedees
Summary: A party from hell, a shooting, eating disorders, rape, and full on drama. Sean's with Ellie but Emma needs him. Is he ready to face the girl he never got over? Can he handle her problems? Will Emma live to see him make that choice? No one knows.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this will be a pretty long story. The idea was completely BellaVision's, so she gets all credit. I'm merely just a pen, writing down her wonderful ideas. This story will eventually be a Semma but the first couple chapters will mainly be about Emma. **

Emma Nelson rarely allowed herself to reflect on her life but she just found her old diary. One she hadn't written in since her last year of high school. The time in her life she just wanted to forget. But today, she was going to remember. Because Emma Nelson had to deal with her past to consult her future, if he ever forgave her.

As Emma started at the cover, the one with the intertwining hearts, she thought about the rules she had made up for her diary. They were simple. She wrote in her diary once every month and it had to be at least ten pages long. Sometimes her goal wasn't met, she realized. But she put everything she had into her diary and there wasn't a page where she hadn't poured her soul out into that book.

She paused and realized she was procrastinating. It was best to get this over with. Right now. Because the more time wasted was the less time she had to win Sean back.

_Dear Diary, _

_It's easy to fake being over someone. It's easy to pass them in the hallways and never turn your head. It's easy to lie to everyone and say he's a jerk and that he doesn't matter. It's easy to say that you had never wanted a boyfriend in the first place and that he just kind of happened. You can easily lie and say it never meant anything to you. Yeah, he may have been your first boyfriend, but it was a stupid relationship and time two wasn't any different. It's easy to say you don't care about him and his new girlfriend, even when they are right in front of you being all coupley. It's easy to say that you don't mind that she's moved in with him. You say you don't about all of the implications those words have behind them. It's easy to say that you can be friends with him again, even distantly. It's easy all right. _

_I've become very good at lying lately. Actually, it's become a gift of mine. A talent or skill, if you will. The trick is to make yourself believe whatever it is that you want everyone else to believe. You don't have to believe it one-hundred percent, or even fifty-percent. Just enough and just long enough for the questions to stop. _

_I used to hate it, having to lie. I wanted people to figure everything out. To help me. But it's too late now. I've become too buried in my lies. They've become a game. A test that no one passed. _

_I guess I should explain. Sean Cameron is my ex-boyfriend. Our break up sucked and it broke my heart. I don't even know why we broke up. I was just too mad to fix it and then… he started dating that Amy chick and I found out he stole Snake's computer. Who the hell steals the laptop of a guy with leukemia? And why the hell was I still hung up over said guy. _

_Maybe that was because he spent every day of the summer fixing Snake's car to make up for what he'd done. He'd even done all the labor for free. Or maybe it's because he knew exactly what to say to me when I was upset. Maybe it was because when he smiled, really smiled, I knew he saved that look just for me. Well, he used tom anyways. _

_Oh jeeze, I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. Sean. Sean, Sean, Sean. I'll stop now because there's so much else that happened. _

_I was in media class when Manny came up to me. She smiled and we began to take small talk, normal girl stuff. How hot Craig was, even though he was a total ass. How that new band, Fall Out Boy, was amazing. How guys suck. _

_That's when Manny and her brilliant idea arose. _

"_Let's remark ourselves." Manny mused. "We could become queens of Degrassi. We could be invited to all the parties, dance with the cutest boys, know all of the best inside jokes, and have too many friends to count." _

"_This is ridiculous." _

"_Why? I want to have fun. You want to have fun. They are having fun." Many pointed at Paige and her friends. "So let's join them." _

"_Okay. So what do we do?" _

"_Well I heard the Paige is throwing a party. We go, after we buy some sexy outfits, that is." _

_Two new outfits and a party later, Manny and I were on our way. Paige is talking to us nonstop about all of the good times we had at that party. Everything is great. Except there's one tiny problem. _

_I don't remember a thing. _

_Well that's not completely true. I remember getting there and being really nervous. I remember having a drink because Jay said it would make me less nervous. _

_Why did I listen to Jay? What happened? I really can't help but to assume the worst but… No! Paige was with us the whole night. Or at least for most of it. If something where to have happened, she would have told us. _

_If I could only explain to myself the dreams I'm having, everything would be great. They're just flashes. Bits and pieces that I remember from these dreams. But they're scary as hell. _

_I'm in a room and HE'S standing there. He comes closer. I scream. He won't leave. He won't go. I can't breathe. Why me? _

_And then I'm awake. Confused and alert. Trying to understand the dreams that have been haunting my sleep. I'm looking for answers but I find none. _

_I have to go. My mom's coming._

**AN: I know it's a little different but, it'll get better. Emma's going to continue to read through her diary and realize how much she needs Sean (who will be in the story soon). So tell me what you think. =)**


	2. Triplets

_Dear Diary, _

_It has been a month since I've written and there's no easy way to explain what has happened. I think I may be pregnant. Well actually, I know I'm pregnant. Which doesn't make any sense because I've never had sex. _

_Well, not willingly, at least. This is where I introduce my favorite character of all (please notice my sarcasm…): Dean. Apparently I met him at Paige's party. He was quite taken with me, I'm told and even brought me upstairs. _

_I think I was too wasted to understand what happened, but I'm pretty positive I said no. He didn't listen though. He just went right ahead and… and… he… Ugggh, I really need to learn to say this. He raped me. He raped me. _

_Dean raped me. _

_And now, lucky me, I'm pregnant with _his_ kids. Manny thinks I should get an abortion, but I know I can't do that. My God, I couldn't possibly kill those poor innocent babies, but I'm not sure I can raise them. Oh, right, I forgot to mention: I'm having triplets. _

_I have to tell my mom; I just don't know how. I haven't told her about the rape, either. I need to tell her; I need to talk to her but I can't. I just feel gross all the time. I keep seeing him everywhere. I feel like he's coming for me, and I'm afraid that he'll try to do it again. I mean, my god! What if he… _

_I'm shivering and I have goosebumps. _

_I'm scared. _

_I don't know what to do. I wish there was some easy way out of this, but there isn't. I got myself into this mess, trying to be popular of all things, and now I have to face the consequences. Ugh, sometimes I really hate this… life, I've created._

* * *

_AN: I know it's short, but there's nothing more I can put in here at the moment, there's only so much you can say after getting raped. Also, I'd like to apologize for such a long wait for this chapter. I've really busy, but don't worry I plan to update like crazy this summer. _


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